


sleep is for the weak and you’re very weak (fyi we’re streaming)

by DarkColdSummer



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And a little bit of, Attempt at Humor, Blade of Marmora Keith (Voltron), Canon Universe, Drunken Shenanigans, Drunkenness, Episode: s03e05 The Journey, Family, Family Dynamics, Feels, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Fluff, Gen, Half-Galra Keith (Voltron), Humor, Hunk (Voltron) is a Good Friend, Hunk (Voltron) is a Ray of Sunshine, Hunk holds the one braincell amongst the Voltron teens, Internet, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Kind of? Because they're in space and what even is the legal drinking age in space??, Lance (Voltron) is a Good Friend, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Light Angst, Live-Stream, Minor Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Pidge | Katie Holt is Savage, Pidge | Katie Holt is a Mess, Platonic Relationships, Post-Episode: s02e13 Blackout, Post-Season/Series 02, Post-Season/Series 03, Pre-Episode: s02e12 Best Laid Plans, Pre-Season/Series 03, Pre-Season/Series 04, Protective Hunk (Voltron), Protective Keith (Voltron), Protective Lance (Voltron), Season/Series 02, Season/Series 03, Shiro (Voltron) is Missing, Sleep Deprivation, Sleepiness, Social Media, Socially Awkward Keith (Voltron), Team, Team Fluff, Team Voltron Family, Team Voltron Gets A Youtube Channel, Team Voltron gets access to the internet, Team as Family, Tired Shiro (Voltron), Underage Drinking, YouTube, YouTube Live-Stream, YouTuber Keith (Voltron), YouTuber Lance (Voltron), YouTuber Pidge | Katie Holt, Youtuber Hunk (Voltron), Youtuber Shiro (Voltron), because Pidge and Slav combined could definitely do that, i really have to warn for inconsistent updates, look how did i forget humor??? this thing is mostly humor i think
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:41:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26709934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkColdSummer/pseuds/DarkColdSummer
Summary: NaughdiaREdits,,,NaughdiaREditsim sorry is everyone else seeing this???????NaughdiaREditslike were all seeing the same thing right???I. Leifsdottir.Oh, I see why you wanted us to watch this stream.I. Leifsdottir.Also, it’s “we’re”, not “were”.RKinkadeVloggingIf you mean our two, very much declared dead, ex-Garrison classmates on a YouTube live-stream… Yes Rizavi, we’re all seeing this.- - - - -(aka, none of the other paladins know how to get enough sleep, the legs of voltron really aren’t paid enough for this so they use the newly completed internet connection to get a chance of getting paid for this via youtube streaming, the internet is confused, concerned and, surprisingly enough, extremely intrigued. it all spirals from there.)
Relationships: Adam & Matt Holt & Shiro, Hunk & Keith & Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt, Hunk & Keith & Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt & Shiro, Hunk & Keith (Voltron), Hunk & Lance (Voltron), Hunk & Pidge | Katie Holt, Hunk & Shiro (Voltron), James Griffin & Ryan Kinkade & Ina Leifsdottir & Nadia Rizavi, Keith & Lance (Voltron), Keith & Pidge | Katie Holt, Keith & Shiro (Voltron), Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt, Lance & Shiro (Voltron), Lance & Veronica (Voltron), Pidge | Katie Holt & Shiro
Comments: 65
Kudos: 237





	1. VoltronDefenders started streaming: "Getting Our Team To Go To Sleep is Harder Than It Seems"

**Author's Note:**

> AKA (again) FUCK CANON, THERES NO WAY YOU CAN CONVINCE ME THAT PIDGE ISNT ABLE TO MAKE AN UNTRACEABLE CONNECTION TO THE HUMAN INTERNET, ESPECIALLY WITH ALIEN TECH AND ALIEN GENIUSES THANK YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY
> 
> (uhm yes its still exam period and im still stressed very stressed and im still very stress-writing shhh i know thats not grammatical)
> 
> disclaimer: im not entirely sure how youtube streams and technology work so

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (aka, none of the paladins know how to get enough sleep so the legs of voltron immortalise their resistance against sleep via a youtube live stream)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic is set in the happy period between getting slav (who was essential in setting up the communication link to earth) and setting off to attack zarkon. which is a very short period, i believe. somewhere between mid-s2e11 to pre-s2e12, i guess.

“Hunk, are you sure this thing is working?”

The camera opens up with the image of a teen, nose pressed up slightly comically against what must be the camera.

“Yes, Lance,” the taller teen behind him - who must be Hunk - groans slightly, tone exasperated, pulling his friend back from the camera. “Put some faith into mine and Pidge’s abilities, won’t you?”

“Don’t blame me,” the first teen - Lance - protests, waving his arms around dramatically, gesturing in the direction of the camera. “This is _not_ what we would normally use.”

“And I already explained it to you,” Hunk says, patiently. “It would be counterproductive to have one of us carry a camera around and-“ Here, he stops to look at a small glowing orange screen in his hands that, as watchers might notice, look similar to - though more advanced than, if the ease in which the device is being used is to go off on by - recently developed holographic screen technology. “Would you look at that? The stream is already gaining significant coverage!”

Lance startles at that information. “What?! We’ve been streaming this entire time? Since when did that happen?”

___

**NaughdiaREdits** ,,,

**NaughdiaREdits** im sorry is everyone else seeing this???????

**NaughdiaREdits** like were all seeing the same thing right???

**I. Leifsdottir.** Oh, I see why you wanted us to watch this stream.

**I. Leifsdottir.** Also, it’s “we’re”, not “were”.

**RKinkadeVlogging** If you mean our two, very much declared dead, ex-Garrison classmates on a YouTube live-stream… Yes, Nadia, we’re all seeing this.

**I. Leifsdottir.** On that note, it’s also 2 a.m. Good night, Rizavi, Kinkade. We have a simulation test tomorrow.

**RKinkadeVlogging** Ina’s right. Good night.

___

“Uh,” Hunk looks up with a genuinely thinking face, then looks back to the other. “Probably around ‘Hunk, are you sure this thing is working?’?”

Lance groans dramatically, leaning his head back and half-bending his knees, the perfect picture of childishness.

“Anyway,” Hunk raises his voice over the sound of his friend, facing the camera this time and putting his orange device away. “Hi, I’m Hunk, the Yellow Paladin, and this,” he gestures at the other. “Is Lance, the Blue one.”

“What’s up, earthlings?” Lance grins, having quickly recovered from his over-dramatised embarrassment. “You can also call me ‘Sharpshooter’, it’s what my friends call me.”

“One, no one calls you that. Two, don’t call them earthlings,” Hunk deadpans, then offers the camera a smile, even as Lance protests. “Anyway, we’re reporting to you live from the Castle of Lions! It’s about the equivalent of midnight right now, and we all have to deal with some important things once morning comes, so…”

Lance cuts in. “We’re going to our teammates, one by one, and getting them to go to sleep,” he tells the camera, a dangerous glint in his eyes, like something out of an anime. Any watchers who notice this and think too hard about it may be concerned, because this is, first of all, a live stream, so unless there’s someone else behind the stream (unlikely, if Hunk’s words are anything to go by), there’s no one editing the effect there. Secondly, it defies all biological logic. Lastly, concern on behalf of Lance and Hunk’s teammates.

“Our teammates are…” Hunk trails off, clearly thinking of a term that would suit them best. “Very much against sleep.”

Lance scoffs and rolls his eyes, crossing his arms. “That’s an understatement.”

Hunk shrugs, as if saying ‘what can you do about it’. “So, we’re going to them one by one and getting them to. Go! To! Bed!” He punctuates his words by punching his fist against his other hand’s palm threateningly.

“We’re going to Keith first, because where he’s at is the closest to the common room,” Lance elaborates, already walking to what must be the exit, though it’s kind of hard to tell, especially since the setting is a white room with weird, glowing, cyan patterns on the walls. The camera, despite the claim of it being unmanned, turns and adjusts itself to keep both teens within the frame. “Come on!”

Hunk follows behind Lance quickly, and the camera follows, making a soft whirring noise as it does.

The hallways of, as Hunk proclaimed, the Castle of Lions is the same as the room the duo were in beforehand, with similarly medical white walls with cyan lights. In fact, the main source of lighting seems to be built into the walls in those cyan lights. The other, probably more decorative source of lights are torches mounted on the walls, glowing with a cyan flame. One might be inclined to wonder whether they’re actual flames, and in that case, whether there’s smoke, or whether there are smoke alarms and if the smoke alarms have accidentally gone off due to the torches. That person might never know.

“So,” Hunk starts, to fill the silence. “As Lance mentioned, we’re going to the training room to get Keith to bed. I normally do that on my own, because _someone_ -“ He punctuates this with a none too subtle look at Lance. “-always gets carried away by their so-called rivalry.”

“I take offence to that,” Lance proclaims. “Anyway, a quick rundown on our very own Keith Kogane; he has this really stupid f-“

“Language,” Hunk chides.

“-reaking mullet. Hunk, I know, this is supposed to be family-friendly. He’s a hot-head and our resident impulse decision-maker. He’s good in a sword fight though,” he throws out, like that’s not concerning at all to the average viewer. “And he’s always doing cool things like flying into a-“

Hunk slaps a hand over Lance’s mouth instantly, glaring at the other. Lance raises his hands in surrender. “FLYING HIS HOVERBIKE OFF OF CLIFFS. And making us fear for our lives!”

“Uh, yeah, that’s exactly what I was gonna say!” Lance says, the moment Hunk’s hand leaves his mouth. “And anyway!” He drags the last word. “We’re here!”

___

**NaughdiaREdits** did,,, did i just hear them say “keith kogane”?

**NaughdiaREdits** like, keith kogane, top fighter pilot before he got kicked out??

**NaughdiaREdits** what the hell is going on

___

At his gesture, the mysteriously operated camera pans to another, more brightly lit, white room. Through the strangely shield-shaped glass-like panel, a figure with black hair wields a white-and-red sword. The figure, who must be Keith Kogane because he actually looks like a real person, is fighting a white, gold and cyan robot with a white staff and is losing, which might be surprising to anyone watching, due to his reputation. It might also be unsurprising to others, especially considering the complexity of the moves. Some may be impressed by how Keith seems to also be able to keep up with the complex fighting… Uh, keeping up in a very vague sense of the word, seeing how half his swings miss the mark entirely and the other half are perfectly aimed but weak strikes.

Also, one might start to be concerned by the appeared obsession with white and cyan.

Off-screen, one can hear Lance and Hunk exchanging a couple of words softly. Or, at least, their attempt at softly. Neither of them is very soft (in relation to their volume of speaking) people.

“Gladiator. Seriously? Is he trying to drive himself into an early grave? Is he trying to drive us into early graves?” Lance complains. Even if he can’t be seen, the dramatic frustration is practically tangible, even through a screen.

“Bayards ready just in case the Gladiator turns on us?” Hunk asks.

“Uh, who do you take me for? An idiot? I always have my bayard on me, you know, ever since the Galran crystal corrupted the entire Castleship? And the Castleship tried to kill us?”

“I get it, Lance. Shall we?” Here, one can assume that the taller of the two does some gesture towards the door, the camera, the training room, the robot and the infamous Keith Kogane.

“Yeah.”

The door to the training room opens, just as Keith trips over his own feet and falls face-first towards the ground, right in front of the robot. He instantly raises his head to the ceiling and declares, slightly desperately: “End training sequence!” If someone looked really closely, they might realise that the newest introduced teen has purple eyes, which is definitely not natural.

“Huh. Guess we didn’t need our bayards,” Lance grumbles as he and Hunk walk into the frame of the camera and the robot falls into a hole in the ground that instantly closes itself. He stops there, on the fringes of the camera’s view, even as Hunk continues walking forward.

“Keith…” Hunk says, tone warning.

“Go away, Hunk,” Keith responds in turn. His tone is sharp and irritated and clearly exhausted, eyes narrowed in a glare towards the bandana-wearing teen.

“You’re exhausted.”

“Don’t tell me about me!” The teen shoots back. “I know myself better than you do! Because! I! Am! Me! And I! Am not! Tired!”

“Uh-huh,” Hunk says, tone making it clear that he’s just humouring the other. “Get off the floor and take five steps then.”

Keith glares, and pushes himself up. He successfully takes one step, two, three- He trips over himself again on the fourth, right into Hunk’s waiting arms. “Shuddup,” he moans into the other’s chest.

“I don’t think Keith has realised that I’m here,” Lance takes the opportunity to stage whisper to the camera just as Hunk says, mildly, to Keith, “I didn’t say anything.”

“You were gonna do that whole ‘I told you’ speech like you did when Lance let Blue get stolen by Nyma and Rolo. Don’t do that.”

“I wasn’t going to, but okay.”

“I’m not tired.”

“Of course,” Hunk says in a placating manner, leading the other towards the door of the training room. Both Lance and the camera follow behind.

“I don’t need to go to sleep.”

“If you say so, buddy.”

“I need to practice for- Where are you taking me? It better not be my room. Don’t tell me you’re bringing me to my room.”

“I’m not bringing you to your room,” Hunk says dutifully, much to Keith’s agitation.

___

**NaughdiaREdits** wow, sleepy keith is surprisingly soft uwu

**NaughdiaREdits** not really something anyone would expect out of the kid who got kicked out of the garrison

___

“I meant what I said, you know?” Keith protests. “You better not be taking me to my room.”

“Of course not,” Hunk says, bringing Keith into a room. Just before the door closes, he can be heard saying, “I’m bringing you to Shiro’s room.”

Outside the door with the camera, Lance snickers. “I never knew sleep Keith was this grumpy. Hunk’s an angel for dealing with him.”

“You wrangle Pidge,” Hunk says, walking out of the room. “That kid’s a gremlin, with or without sleep.”

“That fast?” Lance comments, as they both walk back in the direction of the training room.

“Same as usual,” Hunk shrugs. “I put him into bed, tucked him in, and it was lights out.”

“Huh.”

“Right, so next up we’re heading to the ha-“ Hunk cuts himself off. It’s not entirely clear what they’re trying to hide. “Carpark?”

Lance rolls his eyes. “If they know we have a training room, it doesn’t hurt anyone to know that we have a hangar, Hunk. Anyway, Pidge’s up next. Some may know her as Pidge Gunderson, others may know her as Katie Holt, but we just call her Pidge Holt. Or Gremlin, because that’s exactly what she is.”

___

**NaughdiaREdits** pidge gunderson, as in the comms specialist????

**NaughdiaREdits** katie holt, as in the younger sister of matthew holt and daughter of samuel holt, the ones on the kerberos mission, who got banned from the garrison?????

**NaughdiaREdits** they’re the same person???????!!!!

___

“Pidge is our software engineer,” Hunk tells the camera as they walk past the training room. “But she does dabble in a bit of hardware, though that’s more my domain. I do know a bit of basic software stuff, so that balances us out.”

They both stop outside a door, and look at each other.

“…We did not think this through,” Lance declares, and anyone watching may be slightly confused.

“Nope, not at all,” Hunk agrees. “Take off your jacket and cover the camera with it?”

“Sure,” Lance says, and proceeds to do just that.

The camera screen goes dark and some fumbling can be heard.

“So… who goes first and who gets the camera?” Hunk can be heard asking.

“I call dibs on both,” Lance declares. “I’m the one who has to get Pidge to bed, after all.” One can assume that Hunk nods at that statement, before a noticeable amount of background noise cuts out and Lance’s jacket is removed from the screen.

“Right, so one by one,” Lance says as he shrugs on his jacket. “The routes to the hangars are a bit… complicated. Right now we’re in an elevator, and yes, the stream is still working, because Pidge’s coding is far from amateur. One sec, you’re like Rover, aren’t you?”

___

**NaughdiaREdits** who’s rover????

**NaughdiaREdits** why are you talking to the camera?????

**JamesGriffinDor** jesus, nadia why are you even still awake? why this link?

**JamesGriffinDor** holy **** is that lance from the garrison?

**JamesGriffinDor** isn’t he supposed to be dead in a meteor crash???

**NaughdiaREdits** well, apparently not

___

One can assume that he gets some kind of signal of agreement from the camera, which frankly sounds absurd, yet is the only thing that makes sense with Lance’s reaction. Lance nods and offers a shoulder.

“Good, then you can cling on to my shoulder, for the full experience, yeah?”

The camera does just that. At this point, one might believe that the camera is manned by a self-aware, AI drone, which frankly wouldn’t be too absurd next to the robot in the training room. Just in time, the door to the elevator opens, and Lance steps forwards to grab a pair of handles on the ceiling. This is the first area in which the walls aren’t white with cyan lights, but rather green ones. In fact, green ones so bright that the walls seem green, instead of the clear white that they are.

“Apparently,” Lance says, over the whooshing of air past him and the camera. “Ziplines used to be the in thing when this place was built.”

He gets off the downwards-heading zipline, and straight-up jumps feet first into another tunnel.

“Yeah, then there’s this tunnel, really cool looking, but I think it would look far better if the lights were blue.”

And he lands in a futuristic-looking speeder. A closer look reveals that all the controls are all labelled in a foreign language that would be, if anyone attempted, illegible to anyone at all, though Lance presses a couple of buttons with ease.

“Then there’s this speeder, and we’re almost there!” Lance declares cheerfully as the speeder suddenly veers from its straight path, to the right instead. The tunnel disappears and the speeder stops, leaving both Lance and the camera in an open, spacious, hangar, in which there are no ships of any sort. The main visible thing is a giant, robotic, green lion.

___

**NaughdiaREdits** thats

**NaughdiaREdits** that looks like the thing that went viral

**JamesGriffinDor** it looks like the robotic blue lion that flew out of earths atmosphere

**JamesGriffinDor** what the ****

**NaughdiaREdits** thats what ive been saying since the start of this stream!!!

___

“Feel free to get off my shoulder and look at Pidge instead,” Lance tells the camera, which does exactly just that, as he gets off the speeder. From the corner of the screen, if someone were to watch really closely, they’d see a blur as the green speeder heads back in the direction it came from, on its own.

Pidge/Katie Holt/Gunderson is seated by a table, hands lying on a cyan, holographic computer. All the characters on both the screen and the keyboard look like complete gibberish to both the trained and untrained Earth eyes. Some might start to believe that this is all an extremely elaborate prank. Those people would be complete and utter fools. Her head is nodding sleepily, barely supported by the rest of her body, and she looks half-way to collapsing onto the cyan, holographic computer.

“Pidge~” Lance all but sings, strutting up to the girl. “Pidge~” He pokes her none too gently in the arm, and she screeches.

“‘m awake! ‘m fine!” The tiny girl yelps, albeit slightly sleepily. “X is log base e of two!”

Lance stares at the camera, then at Hunk, who just entered the frame of the camera and must have just entered the hangar, and then back at Pidge. “You could have just said ln two.” He pronounces his ‘ln’ an awful lot like ‘lawn’. In the background, Hunk snickers.

The smaller only offers him a very ruffled glare. “Screw off, Lance.”

___

**JamesGriffinDor** jesus christ

**JamesGriffinDor** what is she even dreaming about

___

“Pidge.”

“Pidgey.”

“Pi-idge.”

“Pi-idgey.”

“Lance, please,” Pidge all but begs. “Shut up.”

“What’cha doing?” Lance drawls. “Pidgey.”

“Running mainframe maintenance checks and going through the code for the virus,” Pidge says, fingers clicking away at the holographic keyboard. “It has to be perfect.”

“Naturally,” Lance agrees easily. “But look at your hands. Look at the things you’re typing, for that matter.”

Pidge does, in fact, look at her hands, and at her screen. “Please be more specific,” she deadpans.

“Your hands are shaking,” Lance informs her. “And I don’t read code well, or any other technological thing, because that’s your job, but I can read this,” he stops here to point out a line. The camera zooms in. The line is _also_ made out of unrecognisable characters. “Because it’s language and that’s my speciality. And _this_ , is not spelt correctly. How do you misspell green? That’s your whole shtick!”

Pidge curses and moves to correct it, not like anyone looking at it can tell how accurate it is fixed to be.

“Language,” Hunk mutters at that, though it’s clear the smaller girl doesn’t hear it.

Lance nudges over a mug of water. “Drink. This cup’s been here since you came in here since- what? Four vargas ago?”

___

**JamesGriffinDor** what the **** are vargas?

**JamesGriffinDor** what even are those characters?

**NaughdiaREdits** at this point ive just given up asking

___

Pidge picks up the water. “It’s a mug, not a cup,” she tells Lance, lifting it to her mouth. Her hands shake so much that the water spills onto her, before it even tilts very much.

“Oh,” she notes. “I spilled it.”

“Yes,” Lance tells her. “Is that enough proof that you’re very sleep-deprived and really should get some sleep?”

“I should finish this, actually.”

“Pidge,” Lance says, surprisingly gently to any random viewer. He, so far, has not really seemed like the kind of person to be this gentle. “We have a long day ahead tomorrow. Sure, code is important, but you can do that over breakfast. What you can’t do over breakfast is sleep. Go to bed.”

Pidge stares owlishly at the taller for one blink, two blinks-

“There’s no way that’s going to work,” Hunk informs the camera and the rest of the audience.

“Sure,” Pidge says, shutting off the holographic computer. “But you carry me to bed.” She makes grabby hands at the lankier boy at this.

“What sort of older brother do you take me for?” Lance rolls his eyes, but picks her up easily, letting her cling to his front like a koala. “Come on Pidgey, time for bed.”

The camera turns as the duo walks past, and so does Hunk. He takes a second to comprehend, then follows behind, the camera doing the same. “How did that work?” He asks himself, then turns to the camera and demands, “How in the name of pancakes did it work?”

___

**JamesGriffinDor** the real question is: where the **** are they???

**NaughdiaREdits** i

**NaughdiaREdits** no one knows

___

“It’s because I’m an angel sent from heaven specifically to wrangle tiny green gremlins,” Lance tells Hunk, cradling the smaller in his arms. Pidge is asleep, and that’s both incredibly surprising and incredibly unsurprising. The three head back past the training room.

“Of course you are, Lance,” Hunk says, clearly humouring his friend.

“You’re humouring me,” Lance notes, but sticks his nose into the air anyway. “I’d like you to try wrangling her like I do.”

Hunk shrugs as Lance enters a room, then turns to the camera. “Anyway, the last guy we’re looking for is Shiro, and he’s either going to be wandering - sorry, patrolling - the halls like a drone, or pouring over something with the princess.”

Lance walks out of the room, Pidge nowhere in sight. He dusts his hands and looks at the camera, then looks at Hunk. “So…”

“Meeting room,” they both say, in tandem, and anyone looking on might be slightly creeped out.

“The guy we’re looking for is Takashi Shirogane,” Hunk says, and Lance cuts in.

“That guy’s my hero!” He declares. “Have you seen his hair? It’s gorgeous.”

___

**JamesGriffinDor** t-

**JamesGriffinDor** takashi shirogane? pilot of the kerberos mission?

**JamesGriffinDor** isn’t he dead in space?

**NaughdiaREdits** if this stream is to be trusted, I Think Not

**NaughdiaREdits** and so far?

**NaughdiaREdits** its looking v legit

  
___

The camera continues on ahead, even as Hunk and Lance exchange words that can be barely caught by the camera. It’s surprisingly soft, especially with their previous failed attempts at whispering. Still, if one turned up the volume enough, they might hear this:

“We can’t let them see Allura.”

“So what can we do, Hunk? We’re trying to show them Shiro.”

“Hope that he’s roaming and not in the meeting room?”

And from a louder voice that is neither Lance nor Hunk and also behind the camera: “Are you talking about me?”

The newest voice is loud, but slightly slurred, all the words blurring together. Still, Lance and Hunk visibly jolt, just as the camera whirls around to take a closer look at the source of the voice.

It certainly looks like Takashi Shirogane, mostly. If not for the fact that his frontal hair is pure white and that his right arm is clearly some sort of prosthetic.

___

**NaughdiaREdits** woah space is wild sign me up

**JamesGriffinDor** i

**JamesGriffinDor** h

**JamesGriffinDor** his hair?!

**JamesGriffinDor** hsi arm/??

___

“Yes!” Lance says, loudly, walking in front of the camera. Hunk is not far behind. “We were talking about you!”

“And looking for you,” Hunk informs the older man. “We’re here to bring you to bed.”

Shiro giggles, and pats Hunk’s head with his human arm. “Kinky,” he comments, then dramatically throws the same arm to his forehead. “I’m afraid I’ll have to decline, Matt.” He pulls Lance closer to him with his robotic arm. “I already have Adam, and I definitely wouldn’t mind if he takes me to bed.”

___

**NaughdiaREdits** I KNEW IT

**NaughdiaREdits** JAMES HADND IT OVER

**NaughdiaREdits** PROF SHIRO AND PROF WRIGHT ARE TOTALLY DATING

**JamesGriffinDor** tomorrow morning, nadia, jesus christ

___

He flutters his eyes at Lance, who comments, with all the amusement that just proves how often this occurs, “You look like you’re having a spasm, Shiro.”

“Call m’,” Shiro pauses for a yawn. “‘kashi. We’ve been over this already, Adam.”

“Of course,” Lance agrees and Hunk moves in to pick up the older man. “We’re still heading to bed.”

Shiro makes a hum of agreement. “Thank ‘u, Ryou,” he murmurs, barely audible to the camera. With that single statement, he succeeded at being softer than both Lance and Hunk.

“Hunk,” Lance whispers, grin ever so wide. “You’re cradling him in your arms!”

“Better not tell Keith, then,” Hunk agrees, amused.

They hadn’t really left the area where all the bedrooms appear to be, so it doesn’t take long for Hunk to drop Shiro off in his room and come back out.

“Anyway, the final thing on the agenda,” Hunk tells the camera. “We have something to say.”

“Head into my room?” Lance suggests, and Hunk nods.

The shorter boy’s room is covered in wires and random other devices. “Don’t mind these,” he tells the camera. “We were trying to set up Killbot Phantasm I. Announcement, Hunk?”

“This is…” Hunk hesitates. Both boys are sitting on the lone mattress, facing the camera. “Hopefully not our last video.”

“It’s also our first,” Lance informs him, then turns back at the camera. “We’re all about to do something very very dangerous tomorrow, and we just wanted our families to know that we’re alive.”

The atmosphere is noticeably more solemn now. In hindsight, a lot of their interactions with the other missing people make more sense.

“So uh,” Lance waves at the air. Hunk hums morbidly. “If there isn’t another video in like… two quin- days, two days? Then feel free to actually accept that we’re dead!”

“Because we’re not dead,” Hunk informs the camera. “In case you couldn’t tell. On that happy note, this has been Hunk, the Yellow Paladin-“

“-and Lance, the Blue Paladin-“

“-and thanks for watching this stream!”

The screen turns black.

___

**NaughdiaREdits** THAT WAS CRYPTID AF

**NaughdiaREdits** I AM CONCERMED TM

**VoltronDefenders** You should be -Hunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> k so originally these were 2 separate ideas, 1 with focus on team voltron’s terrible sleeping habits, and the other on internet connection with earth, and i liked both ideas but couldnt start either but now fused, i have!! idea!! thus, this thing was born.
> 
> this whole thing was an image baby, not a word baby, so i straight-up imagined it in my head like an episode. writing it, imo, does not do it justice. one day, i might draw scenes for it and put it in because hello??? but also my drawing style is… very different from voltron’s. 
> 
> i wrote the first 3280 words in a day. i wrote the rest in the next day.
> 
> also, there’s references to some voltron-specific things here, like the paladin logs, for one. lance and hunk’s intros are kinda based off of them.
> 
> “I! Am! Me! And I! Am not! Tired!” in keith’s part, but like anyone who’s watched mean girls (musical, im not sure if movie has it) and remembers janis going “I! Am a SPACE ALIEN! And I have FOUR BUTTS!”? yes, same tones.


	2. VoltronDefenders started streaming: "WE LIVE (And Also Some Other, Sadder, News)"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Is that drone going to blow up and try to kill us again? Like fake-Rover?”_
> 
> _“Only if the Galra hack it,” Pidge answers cheerily._
> 
> ___
> 
> _**JamesGriffinDor** i have many questions and that response answered none of them_
> 
> \- - - - - 
> 
> Three days after their previous livestream and one day after the promised video released date, VoltronDefenders posts another video. The lateness and other implications it has certainly sets the tone for the rest of the video.
> 
> (aka, this installment picks up after the end-s2 big battle, keith and lance fight, hunk is concerned, veronica makes an appearance and the remaining paladins show their viewers around the castle)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: my one year of spanish classes resulted in me failing out of it, so i consulted google for individual words and my failing memory for sentence structure. please tell me if the spanish here is Not Right - i’ll fix it

The camera blinks into existence, and so does the stream. A large teen with a bandana across his forehead steps back, grinning at it. “Hey!” He says, cheerfully. There’s an edge to that cheerfulness though, like it’s not entirely genuine. Not to say that it isn’t, it just… isn’t completely. “It’s Hunk, the Yellow Paladin, reporting live from the Castle of Lions.” He pauses to look around.

The room starts at the same one as the previous stream started in. The walls are still a worryingly weird white, with worryingly weird patterns and worryingly weird cyan lights. Hunk is seated on something that is more clear this time than last time: a circular sofa that seems to be in-built into the ground. The design is incredibly strange, and any sane person would be concerned for the designer though, it is, admittedly and on a closer look, rather space-efficient, horizontally. Vertically would likely be less so, not that anyone could get any confirmation, bar from asking Hunk to break down the place he’s in.

The camera has clearly gotten a higher view of the room, because there is no way that angle would be possible to get unless from a higher point of view.

Hunk looks up, and gestures down. “Come down, it’s not particularly comfortable trying to talk to you while you’re in the air.” The camera comes down and Hunk continues. “I’m not entirely sure where Lance is, right now? He’s supposed to be here with me. Anyway! On checking the internet, I’ve realised it’s been three days! Turns out that quintents are longer than days by a significant amount. So here’s proof that I’m alive and our bad plan didn’t completely blow up in our faces!”

He gestures to himself cheerily. “Ta-daa!”

___

**JamesGriffinDor** what are quintens?

**NaughdiaREdits** do u even know if ur spelling that right jmaes?

**JamesGriffinDor** you’re not even spelling my name right, nadia.

**NaughdiaREdits** also!! congrats on surviving!!!!

**JamesGriffinDor** at least spell my name right before you tell me how to spell that strange word that doesnt even EXIST in the english dictionary

**RKinkadeVlogging** I apologise on behalf of the Garrison Fighter Pilot cadets; James and Nadia are both idiots. Please, ignore them.

___

“So, I guess I’ll wait for Lance for like...” Hunk waves one of his hands in a so-so motion, the other producing the orange phone-like hologram. “Three do- uh, minutes? Before we continue on without him, that is. In the meantime, we got some questions from our previous stream and- Oh! Looks like we got some for this one too.”

He scrolls through something on his device, humming. “So I kinda compiled all the questions into a more FAQ kind of thing? Yeah, a really quick one though. First question: Is this real?” He looks up from his screen and at the camera, staring it dead in the eye, which is a weird expression, considering cameras don’t technically have biological eyes. “Are any of us real? What is real anyway? If we’re an image through a computer screen, are we real? What distinguishes real from not real?” He shrugs. “In conclusion, we’re about as real or not as you think we are.”

“Next question is… Well, I’ll just compile them all into general identity questions and just answer them. Yes, I’m Hunk Garett, the Lance who was with me last time is my best friend Lance McClain, the first other guy introduced is Keith Kogane, Pidge Gunderson and Katie Holt are the same person who currently goes by Pidge and that- Well, yeah, that was Takashi Shirogane. At least, that’s who we claim to be,” Hunk shrugs, smirking. “Who knows.”

“Next is: ‘Who’s Rover?’ and ‘Why are you talking to the camera?’” Hunk grins at those questions, clearly excited by the answers. “Rover was a drone that Pidge hacked and made our own! The camera is actually based off of Rover, so it’s not just a camera, it’s a fully functioning drone! Pretty cool, right? Pidge and I worked together on this.”

“And uh, about the Green and Blue Lions?” Hunk’s grin falters, pulling into a weak facsimile of what it used to be. “I’m fairly certain we’ll get nerfed if I actually say what it is, so let’s just go with; it’s confidential, so please don’t ask about them again.”

“Next we have: If Shiro is with you, where are Matt and Sam Holt?” Hunk glares at the camera at that. It’s strangely effective, even through a computer screen and stuff. “Don’t bring them up to Pidge, she’ll murder you, and then the rest of us will have to too. So really? We’re working on it.”

“I think it’s going to be three minutes soon, so I’ll answer one last question before we move on without him,” Hunk shrugs. “So-“

“Hunk!” An unfamiliar female voice all but screeches. There’s a crackle that makes it seem like the newcomer is talking over an intercom.

Hunk’s head snaps up to look at the ceiling instantly, making it doubly clear that the voice belongs to someone else not in the room. “Yes, Allura?”

___

**NaughdiaREdits** owo

**NaughdiaREdits** is that the mysterrriousss allure-a from last vid that u were so worried about us seeing?

**NaughdiaREdits** sorry

**NaughdiaREdits** i clearly dk how to spell it

**NaughdiaREdits** im still better than james tho soooooo

**JamesGriffinDor** nadia

**JamesGriffinDor** **** off

___

“Could you come to the training room? I… I may need some help with the other paladins.”

“Of course, princess,” Hunk says easily, and walks out of the room. It’s unclear whether or not he remembers that he’s still on stream, but the drone-camera follows him anyway. It follows him past corridors, even as he picks up his pace and all but starts running.

The hallways are, also, still the same. Cyan blue lights - that look either like magical torches or souls trapped in containment - light Hunk’s path. And for those who have watched the previous live stream enough, that route is apparent, even if the mysterious “Princess Allura” hadn’t already mentioned the destination. One might notice that the training room’s floor has glowing cyan markings as well.

“Alright,” Hunk says, cheerily, clapping his hands together loudly over the commotion in what must be the training room. It’s clearly forced, and the tension within the room is tangible, even through a screen. “What’s going on this time?”

Three other teens stand in front of Hunk and the camera. One might recognise them as Keith, Lance and Pidge, if not from news reports declaring the latter two dead or from knowing them previously at the Garrison, then from the previous live stream.

Keith is leaning back on his right foot, arms crossed and decidedly not looking at the others in the room. His hair is a mess and his posture is guarded, not forthcoming on much information at all. There’s a bruise forming on one of his cheeks though.

Lance is sort of protectively crowding the smallest of them all, subtly shielding her protectively from Keith, even though the other isn’t quite looking in his direction anymore. His knuckles look suspiciously bruised, if one looks closely enough. The correlation might be obvious.

Pidge is similarly curled up, like Keith, only less standoff-ish and more guilty looking. Her shoulders are hunched and her hands are around her shoulders, instead of clenching her arm. She is unscathed, physically, though that really doesn’t seem to speak for much.

None of them says anything.

The camera shifts, and now the screen shows Hunk’s face as well, clearly forced grin twitching. “Anyone? Keith?” The aforementioned turns away. “Lance? Pidge?”

“Keith started it.”

“It was my fault.”

Lance and Pidge, respectively, startle as they speak at the same time. Lance’s words are angry, scorching, like setting fire on a test tube. Pidge’s are softer, milder, like putting out the fire on the test tube.

“It’s not your fault,” Lance counters immediately. “Don’t blame yourself, Pidge.”

“Well, Pidge shouldn’t have just made assumptions!” Keith yells, head snapping back to face the rest of them for the first time in the stream.

“Those were facts!” Lance yells back, shoving his face right in front of Keith’s, with no personal space. If anyone hadn’t already drawn the conclusion from Keith and Lance’s bruises, they’d be idiots. “Pidge was stating facts and maybe you need to face them for what they are, Mullet!”

“Shiro’s not dead!” Keith screams.

“He might be!”

“I mentioned off-handedly that Shiro might be dead,” Pidge tells Hunk, and the camera moves closer to them instead of to the two arguing boys in the background. “Clearly, Keith didn’t take it too well.”

___

**NaughdiaREdits** excuse me

**NaughdiaREdits** what

**NaughdiaREdits** he was alive three days ago!!!!!?????!?!?!?

___

The camera turns back to Keith and Lance, who are even more furiously in each other’s personal space, voices rising rapidly, fighting to be heard over each other.

“-just because you can’t accept it-“

“-never gave up on me-“

“-doesn’t mean it can’t actually be a possibility-“

“-why would I ever give up on him?-“

“-we’re not in Egypt, Keith, stop swimming in the Nile-“

“-there wasn’t even a body-“

“- _possibility_ , Keith, is that that hard to understand-“

“-at least I can understand-“

___

**Veroni-UH-MC** dios

**Veroni-UH-MC** ¿lanquito?

**Veroni-UH-MC** ¿¡que estas haciendo?!

**___**

“Right! Camera!” Hunk can be heard saying, and the camera moves. It’s less smooth of a movement than it normally is, jerking as the camera eventually leaves the room. It swivels back to face Hunk and, next to him, Pidge. “We’re going to leave them to fight it out, because Keith is grieving and Lance can never deny Keith a fight and they always walk out of it feeling better anyway. Pidge? Want to introduce yourself to the stream? Name and colour, if you would.”

“I set up internet for you and you spend it on a lowly YouTube stream? Hunk, I thought better of you,” Pidge scoffs playfully, but turns to the camera anyway. “Hi, I’m Pidge Holt, the Green Paladin. Don’t search me up and I won’t make life for you living hell, thank you.”

“Anyway, if anyone’s wondering where Shiro is…” Hunk hesitates, waving his hands about. “He’s MIA, essentially.”

“Why did you even want to make this stream?” Pidge asks, after a few moments of floundering silence.

“Mainly to announce our continued survival and Shiro’s disappearance,” Hunk admits. “And also to tell anyone who finds him to contact us-“

“-On Earth?” Pidge cuts in incredulously. That’s high on the list of most concerning things that the streams have brought up, second only to Shiro’s disappearance. Or rather, re-disappearance, considering the reported failure of the Kerberos Mission. “No one on _Earth_ would find him.”

“-and lastly, to show off my missing person’s poster for Shiro. Thanks for reminding me, Pidge!” Hunk continues, like Pidge never even spoke. He fiddles with his orange phone/device and shows it to the camera. “See?”

The poster glows orange, mainly because of the colour of the screen, with a picture of Shiro in the middle. Above it, in large text, has a line of what must be words in a very different language. Below that has similarly shaped text. Avid fans can observe that these characters are different from those on Pidge’s computer in the previous stream. Linguistic talents will be astounded and confused by these new languages - far more complex than any of Earth’s.

“Hunk,” Pidge deadpans, after a while. “It’s in Galran.”

Hunk pulls it back to take a closer look at it. “Yeah? Is there something- Oh! Right, our viewers don’t know Galran. Whoops. I’m sure they can make an educated guess, though! Especially with context.”

“Contact information is also in Galran,” Pidge informs him. “Especially if you’re hoping for them to send in messages, you might want to translate that. Especially that.”

Hunk bites his lower lip for a second, contemplating it. “Okay, fair but,” he says. “The lines of contact are gonna get hounded because we’re supposed to be dead, you know? And they can contact us via YouTube anyway.”

Pidge shrugs. “You do you, I guess.”

“So,” Hunk continues, looking at the camera this time. “If any of you sees a guy about this high-“ He pauses to gesture somewhere just slightly above him. “Which is like… six feet and two inches?” He asks Pidge, who shrugs. “Maybe a little taller due to lack of gravity. Yeah, so if you see a guy this high-“

“-With a prosthetic arm that occasionally glows purple, a white tuff of hair at his front, a hella good bone structure, a scar across his nose, have I mentioned his hella good bone structure yet? And Dios mío, his muscles are to die for-“

___

**JamesGriffinDor** mood, honestly

**NaughdiaREdits** o.o

**NaughdiaREdits** who r u and what have u done to griffin

**NaughdiaREdits** actually dont tell me

**NaughdiaREdits** as long as ur less of a stick in the mud yhan him itll be fine

**JamesGriffinDor** **** you gently with a chainsaw, rizavi

___

The camera spins around to face the training room doors, where Lance and Keith have just exited. Hunk is right, they both look much more refreshed than they really should be, especially after a fight. Keith rolls his eyes, even as Lance continues talking about Shiro’s physical appearance in a whole lot of detail. A whole lot more detail than anyone really needs, really, especially considering that their first stream caught a lot of attention and a lot of people moving to analyse the legitimacy of it, along with the physical changes of each person.

“-Also, his eyes are this really weird dark grey, but it suits him so well, and he won’t be caught dead without his winged eyeliner. Like, literally, the man is really really good with his eyeliner skills, even better than Rachel-“

“Welcome back, Lance,” Pidge says, amused.

“Please stop talking about my brother like that,” Keith adds, quickly.

“Introduce yourselves to the camera, both of you?” Hunk offers, with only his voice audible, and nothing else of him or Pidge can be seen as the camera turns to focus on the other two boys.

“…How?” Keith asks, staring at the camera as if it might bite him.

It’s Lance’s turn to roll his eyes, even as he swaggers forward confidently. “Like this.” He finger-guns and winks at the camera in the same movement, somehow not really looking as awkward as most would. “Whassup, citizens of Earth? It’s me, Lance, and I’m the Blue Paladin, reporting to you live from just outside the Castle of Lions’ training room. Your turn, Keith.”

“Uh,” Keith stares at the camera. “I’m Keith? Paladin of the Red-“ He flicks his eyes to the side to stare pleadingly at Lance. “Should I say that the other way around? What do I say? Stop laughing at me, Lance!”

Lance does not stop laughing.

“I’m a paladin?” Keith tries again. “A red paladin? The Red Paladin? I said that already! See, I’m bad at this!”

Pidge can be heard suppressing giggles and Hunk walks forwards into the frame, sighing as he pushes Pidge to join them. “It’s alright, Keith,” he says soothingly and promptly moves on. “Are we going to continue standing awkwardly around the training room or are we going to one of the common rooms to actually sit down and do this?”

“…Or,” Pidge says, a grin slowly forming over her face.

“I don’t like that look,” Lance informs her, then spins on his heel to face the camera. “I don’t like that look,” he informs the camera.

“We could give a rough tour of this place,” Pidge suggests. “The Castle is a big place, after all. We can each choose one of our favourite places in the Castle to show everyone.”

“…right,” Keith says, still eyeing the camera warily. “I have a question, first.”

“Shoot,” Hunk encourages.

“Is that drone going to blow up and try to kill us again? Like fake-Rover?”

___

**I. Leifsdottir.** I find myself… concerned.

**I. Leifsdottir.** Life-threatening situations are being treated surprisingly casually here.

**Veroni-UH-MC** lance. where are you and what the heck is going on?

**NaughdiaREdits** owo? are you one of lance’s friends?? or are you family?

**Veroni-UH-MC** what does it seem like?

**Veroni-UH-MC** soy hermana de lanquito, no su amiga

**Veroni-UH-MC** and you’re a garrison cadet.

**NaughdiaREdits** yeeeee

**NaughdiaREdits** anyway

**NaughdiaREdits** thought you might wanna know that i dont think theyll answer that

**NaughdiaREdits** believe me

**NaughdiaREdits** a ton of us asked during the last stream

**Veroni-UH-MC** …

**Veroni-UH-MC** wonderful

**Veroni-UH-MC** thank you for the information, cadet rizavi

**NaughdiaREdits** seriously just call me nadia thats weird

**NaughdiaREdits** you sound like one of those garrison officers

___

“Only if the Galra hack it,” Pidge answers cheerily.

___

**JamesGriffinDor** i have many questions and that response answered none of them

___

Keith nods, like that solves everything. Lance laughs, but it’s noticeably forced to anyone who tries, even slightly, to read into it. “Yeah,” he says bitterly. “And that’s the best we can hope for, isn’t it?”

The mood of the video noticeably plummets, but Hunk pushes through anyway. “It’s okay Lance, we’ll protect you this time! Anyway, we were talking about our favourite places in the Castle?”

“I’ll start,” Keith says, looking relieved to finally be able to do something his way, bringing it back to a level he can understand. “Especially since we’re already here.” He goes back into the training room, everyone following behind. “If you couldn’t tell, my favourite place in the Castle is the training room.”

There’s two beats of awkward silence as Keith stands in the middle of the room, his friends watching from a distance, the camera still further away from them.

“…Is that it?” Pidge asks.

“Yes.”

“…Yeah no,” Lance says, and moves to Keith. “We need a little more than that. You’ve got your bayard?”

“Yes?” Keith answers, tilting his head to the side a little and raising a white and red patterned… Grappling hook? Zipline handle? Plastic ‘H’? “I don’t go anywhere without it.”

“Good,” he says, then to Hunk and Pidge, “You should stand back.” They follow his instruction as he pulls out his own self-proclaimed bayard, only with blue patterns in place of Keith’s red ones. “So, three days ago, the people saw you completely and utterly fail at fighting the gladiator-“

“What?!” Keith demands, only for Lance to completely ignore him.

“-so now you get a chance to redeem yourself!” Lance continues, then calls to the ceiling. “Start Gladiator training level two!”

“What, Lance, no!” Keith protests, but it’s too late. A robot - white with accents of gold and cyan that people might recognise from the previous stream - drops down from the ceiling, wielding a long white staff. And the fight starts.

Keith’s bayard shimmers for a moment, before it manifests into a pretty familiar red and white sword. A closer look reveals a cyan streak through its middle. He brings it up to block the staff, and glares at Lance, whose bayard has changed to something that looks an awful lot like some kind of futuristic gun that’s way bulkier than it has any business being. He is not, unlike Keith, poised for battle, leaving his gun bayard hanging loosely at his side, in his right hand.

“There’s an open shot for you,” Keith deadpans, straining his weapon against the Gladiator’s. “Just take the shot.”

“Oh,” Lance says. “Nah, I’m just here for backup, in case you get your butt triple-kicked.”

Keith sends the other his most deadpan look yet, and slips away from where he’d almost been pinned by the Gladiator, bringing his sword up with a swift movement to attack from the back. Some might call it dishonourable, like Pidge does, booing him from in the spectator stand. 

Very maturely, Keith swipes the Gladiator’s legs out, and takes the opportunity to use his right hand to flip Pidge off, yelling, “This move has saved our lives more times than I can count!”

“Keep it family-friendly, Keith,” Hunk hollers, gesturing wildly in something that must mean something close to ‘put down that middle finger!’

It’s unclear, from the distance, if Keith acknowledges it, but the finger goes down, the self-proclaimed Red Paladin using the hand it belongs to grab a dagger from his side. This one does not glow red, but rather purple, and bursts into a curved sword as he uses both with ease at the same time. He swings the previous straight white-red sword onto the robot’s head, and drives the curved purple-grey-black blade through its chest in the next movement.

“Ta daa!” Lance says, enthusiastically. “Turns out our local samurai isn’t that bad at fighting after all!”

___

**JamesGriffinDor** that is a large improvement compared to last time

**NaughdiaREdits** its probably the sleep deprivation

___

“I still want to know what failure he’s talking about,” Keith tells the camera as it zooms forwards towards him. “Fighting is one of two things I’m good at.”

“You can watch the other stream later,” Hunk tells him. “We’re going to my favourite place first.”

They leave the training room and head back to the creepy corridors with the creepy lamps.

“The kitchen, that’s my favourite place, is a little weird,” Hunk elaborates.

“A little weird is an understatement,” Pidge comments. “It attacked us.”

“You weren’t nearly killed by it,” Lance pouts. “Don’t complain.”

“I’ve never felt so betrayed in my life!” Hunk insists, not a hint to show that his reaction is over-dramatised is on his face. He is dead serious, which would likely cause any viewer to be both confused and concerned. “It seems that here, even the things that you love the most will turn on you.”

___

**NaughdiaREdits** rip hunk’s unwavering trust in the kitchen

**NaughdiaREdits** fyi i also want the full story

**JamesGriffinDor** naturally

**NaughdiaREdits** whats that supposed to mean????

**JamesGriffinDor** you’re a gossipmonger

___

“…right,” Keith says, dully. “Anyway, we’re here.”

“Great timing,” Pidge points out. “It’s about lunchtime anyway.”

The kitchen is, much like the rest of the Castle, white with cyan highlights and some grey-er spots. The kitchen counters are a spotless shining white, and one can only imagine how annoying and frustrating it must be to have to clean it to that extent every day. Hunk walks over to a cabinet with a confident ease that comes with entering familiar and comfortable territory and grabs four plates from the top of a stack on the central counter. His friends all settle themselves at various around it.

“Out here, there’s not really much variety as to what we can eat,” he tells the camera, even as he fiddles with a cyan-glowing panel, which moves down to reveal… a hose. A… hose. In a kitchen. Apparently, that’s a thing. “So we normally eat this one thing. Food goo!”

Pidge and Lance both pull faces at that, while Hunk uses the hose to prepare four plates of food goo, handing out to each paladin.

“It’s nutritious,” Keith concedes. “But ultimately tasteless.”

“It’s not like we have a variety of foods to choose from while up here,” Lance grumbles, even as he shoves a spoonful of green goop into his mouth. “I miss actual home-cooked food.”

“Me too,” Hunk agrees. “But a large proportion of the things out here have unknown effects on our digestive systems and I know I’m not willing to be the guinea pig.”

“Especially not after scaultrite cookies?” Pidge asks, playfully waving a spoonful of goo around.

“Especially not after scaultrite cookies,” Hunk agrees. “Never again. I swear my teeth broke.”

___

**NaughdiaREdits** ugwabdjksvxzcruegbfvc

**NaughdiaREdits** im so concerned over their food situation wth

**NaughdiaREdits** seriously

**JamesGriffinDor** i am so concerned with the way you keysmash

**NaughdiaREdits** heyyy!!!!

**NaughdiaREdits** whats wrong with it?? :(

**JamesGriffinDor** it looks weird

**NaughdiaREdits** ur weird lemme keysmash in peace

___

The paladins finish up their food quickly and dump their plates in a - as one could probably guess - white dishwasher.

“My turn!” Lance says, cheerfully clapping his hands together. “I’m not entirely sure whether it’s technically allowed for us to show you my favourite place, but I think if we black out the windows, we’ll be fine!”

“Black out the windows…?” Keith asks.

“No,” Hunk says. “No. Lance, think about what you’re doing.”

“Showing everyone my favourite place in the Castle?” Lance answers with faux innocence, tilting his head to the side.

Pidge snickers. “It’ll be fine, Hunk,” she tells him, patting him as he deflates. “Rover 2.0 knows better, doesn’t he?”

The camera bobs up and down like it’s nodding. Anyone who doesn’t believe that the camera is sentient after seeing this is absolutely an idiot.

“My favourite place is the bridge,” Lance tells the camera as the group heads out of the kitchen. “It’s a very specific spot on the bridge, with very specific equipment.”

“Allura’s going to kill us,” Hunk hisses to someone behind the camera.

“Allura’s not going to kill us,” Pidge informs him. “She doesn’t even know how this functions.”

“That’s not exactly comforting,” Keith can be heard saying.

“Shush, Keith,” Pidge retorts.

“I think you’ll love it!” Lance grins at the camera, then looks at Hunk. “Care to entertain the camera here while I black out the windows?”

Hunk shrugs, and strides forward to take the main view of the camera. The door behind him opens and Lance disappears.”So! Pidge, care to tell us your favourite place too?”

“It’s on the bridge,” Pidge says brightly. “Not the bridge, but on it. I think you’ll find it plenty interesting too!"

“Really?” Keith frowns. “I’d thought it’d be your room. Or your hangar. Or one of the labs. Or the library.”

Pidge grins and shrugs, but doesn’t dignify him with a further response, and just as if on cue, Lance walks back in. “Alright! Windows are blacked out and our location is anonymous! Let’s go!”

The proclaimed bridge is large, with a total of five seats, each with a unique colour of glowing lights - red, blue, yellow, green and purple. There’s a glowing spot in the middle of the room, and another control panel further in front of it and the purple chair. It’s also kind of a miracle that it’s indigoes that colour this part of the Castle the most, not white. Definitely a change in colour scheme.

“Wait,” Pidge says. “I want to show them my favourite spot first.”

She walks over to the port - the left side of the bridge - and makes her way to seat further front, glowing green. She crosses her legs and activates some things on the chair, revealing a rather detailed holographic and - you guessed it! - cyan-glowing control panel. The camera hovers somewhere over her shoulder, and anyone watching can observe the strange characters from the first video flash across the screen at a really rapid pace.

“Over here, I can see the mechanics of the entire Castle!” She exclaims, stars practically in her eyes. “I’ve also been using it to design some games, but don’t tell Allura.”

“I’m pretty sure Allura knows, actually,” Hunk tells her, pretty much shouting from across the bridge. “Lance, are you sure you don’t need help?”

The camera turns back to the others - Hunk and Keith hovering awkwardly around Lance as he fiddles with some stuff at the front control panel. “You tell me if you know how to read map in Altean,” the self-proclaimed Blue Paladin grumbles.

“You know Keith and I are the ones studying Galran,” Hunk reminds him. “Ask Pidge.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Lance rolls his eyes. “I think it’s this one.” He presses a seemingly random button and, all of a sudden, the bridge is covered in a holographic map that is, once again, cyan coloured. It’s unclear what each little orb represents, but it’s entrancing nonetheless.

“Pretty, right?” Lance can be heard saying, while the camera pivots about its point to capture a full view of the area. Little, as Lance called it, Altean characters hover next to some orbs, likely describing what they represent. “It feels like a really elaborate nightlight sometimes. Kinda soothing.”

“Which one’s your favourite?” Keith asks, gesturing to the room at large or, more likely, the hologram. It’s unclear what exactly he’s talking about.

Lance’s smile falters a little, less wide and more melancholic, but he obliges, using his hands to scroll past many many orbs like it’s a social media feed. “Right about… here!” The hologram stops and he cradles a small orb within his hands. “Doesn’t matter how many we’ve been, this one will always be my favourite.” There’s a moment of silence.

If one looks really really closely, the orb looks a little bit like Earth.

“Alright, enough emotions!” Pidge yells, and startles pretty much everyone else. She turns to an empty spot. “What about you, Shi- Oh.”

There’s another moment of awkward silence. Lance bumps his shoulders with Keith’s, offering the other teen a small smile. “We’ll find him. Don’t worry.”

“On that note!” Hunk grins, clapping his hands together. “We should probably end the stream here. This has been Hunk, the Yellow Paladin-“

“-Pidge, the Green one-“

“-Lance, the Blue Paladin, and…?“

“…Keith? The Red one? Don’t they already know that?”

“And thanks for watching our stream!” The other three chorus in unison, even as Keith continues to be quite confused. The camera blinks to black.

___

**Veroni-UH-MC ¡** peinabombillas! ¡estabamos muy preocupado!

**Veroni-UH-MC** lance, if you are somewhere with internet, you can send us all a text!

**VoltronDefenders** actually, we can’t send texts. we don’t have cellular connection. -Pidge

**VoltronDefenders** what i can say is that we can communicate via the internet and the internet only. -Pidge

**VoltronDefenders** And we can also pass on the message to him -Hunk

**VoltronDefenders** So expect it in a minute or so -Hunk

**VoltronDefenders** screaming was involved when we told him that you were asking after him. -Pidge

**VoltronDefenders** This is the most excited I’ve seen him since the start of our journey. You must be important. -Keith

**VoltronDefenders** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**VoltronDefenders** RONNIE DONT KILL ME ILL SEND U A DISC MSG HGHJASDLFHLSKDF -LANCE

**Veroni-UH-MC** YOU BETTER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one started with me wanting to show an argument. then hunk decided to Understand the situation and let keith and lance hash it out the keith and lance way. then they all decided to show people around the castle. basically, nothing went according to plan.
> 
> i also wrote 2657 words on the same day the previous chap was published, and it took 2393 words for everyone to introduce themselves. so. fun.
> 
> nadia has my keysmashing methods. all my friends tell me that "awgbjsdlzvcxouwbgsdv" is not a normal keysmash.


	3. VoltronDefenders started streaming: "dasljfjlkasjdfklhsaga"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“I’m Hunk, the Yellow Paladin. This is the Castle of Lions, and I’m sorry about Lance, he is drunk.”_
> 
> _“On you!” Lance adds cheerily. “Or on life. One of those!”_
> 
> _“From being interrogated using an alcohol-based truth serum,” Hunk corrects, with fond frustration and amusement. “We’re kinda waiting to see if there are any side effects. Allura and Coran keep waiting for him to drop dead. Of course, the rest of us know better.”_
> 
> \- - - - -
> 
> Shiro still hasn’t been found, but that’s fine! The remaining paladins decide to play bonding games. Broadcasting it via a livestream was not their intention, and neither was the stream title meant to be that. This is why they shouldn’t get a drunk Lance to make titles. 
> 
> (aka, the paladins play two truths one lie, switch to never have i ever, space alcohol is involved, shiro makes an appearance. kinda? sorta?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, looking for team bonding prompts, finds none: …This Was Expected But Still Disappointing. 
> 
> this one is set somewhere during s3e5, where shiro’s just… chasing them across space for a week. more specifically, just before keith heads out to find shiro. we can have shiro back soon! even if shiro isnt really shiro, but… well… 
> 
> disclaimer: i’ve never gotten drunk before. i do not know how drunk people act. this is the result of…. RESEARCH. (seriously, my current search tabs: alcohol intoxication symptoms, how much alcohol is too much, how much alcohol is in a shot, how many ounces is in a millilitre, how much alcohol is in a standard drink)
> 
> this one's a little shorter, because i couldn't come up with anything. i do know what im gonna do next though! i think. haha. EXAMS ARE OVER YAY.

The camera flickers on, turning the dark screen to one with the obsessively white and cyan background. The camera, which avid viewers would know is a drone named Rover 2.0, pivots left, then pivots right. It’s the same room that the streams usually start in, only it seems that there’s no one around.

“He~ey,” a voice drawls. The camera all but jumps. “Down here, Rove.” Lance is sprawled out on the built-in couch, legs on the ground above the couch and the rest of his body sprawled awkwardly over the rest of the couch, like some kind of heathen. “Good- uh,” he gestures awkwardly in something that might have been meant to be a wave, if it’s looked at at the right angle. The camera is not facing the right angle. “It’s me! Lance the Blue Palading- Din? Pa-la-din. Blue- …Red? Paladin. Red Paladin. Blue. Blue-Red Paladin.” He nods to himself sagely. “Reporting live from the Hustle of Lions. Uhh… Castle of Lions? Whatever, where’s Hunk?”

“Hunk has been getting you water,” Hunk answers drily as he balances five cups on top of what looks vaguely like a pitcher of water. “And making sure you’re slightly more sober before trying to start another str- Oh,” he says, staring at the camera. “Stream. But I guess I’m a little too late here.”

“Introduce yourself, Hunk!” Lance prods after a few awkward moments. “Hunk-y. Hunk-alicious.”

“Sit up and drink your water,” Hunk says, pushing a cup to his friend, nodding in approval as Lance groans but does as he is told. “Good. Hi,” Hunk nods at the camera, a tired grin on his face. “I’m Hunk, the Yellow Paladin. This is the Castle of Lions, and I’m sorry about Lance, he is drunk.”

“On you!” Lance adds cheerily. “Or on life. One of those!”

“From being interrogated using an alcohol-based truth serum,” Hunk corrects, with fond frustration and amusement.

___

**JamesGriffinDor** every time i see a new video

**JamesGriffinDor** i wonder where the **** they are

**JamesGriffinDor** and what the **** they’re doing

___

“We’re kinda waiting to see if there are any side effects. Allura and Coran keep waiting for him to drop dead,” he elaborates easily, tone completely not matching his words.

___

**NaughdiaREdits** drop dead??????

**NaughdiaREdits** how much alcohol was that??????

___

“Of course, the rest of us know better,” Hunk laughs. “Turns out, alcohol is considered a deadly poison. I mean, yeah, we knew the poison part. But deadly is much less so.”

As he says that, Lance, sprawled on Hunk’s lap, crosses his eyes and sticks his tongue out in a clearly extremely mature manner. “Boo,” Lance hums, uncrossing his eyes and just closing them instead. “Deadly, blegh. I’ve heard enough of that word for a lifetime, what with Keith’s complete lack of self-preservation. And Shiro.” He groans loudly and dramatically seats himself upwards. “More water,” he demands. Hunk obliges. “Shiro’s whole disappearing thing. The guy has got to stop disappearing.”

The door to the… common room? Lounge? The door to the room opens, and Pidge skids in. “Can someone tell me why we’ve started a stream titled… I don’t even know how to read this. It’s just a keysmash. Why is there a stream whose title is a keysmash?”

“Lance started it,” Hunk informs her.

“I started it!” Lance agrees.

Pidge stares at Lance for a while, then marches forwards to Hunk, demanding, “Why hasn’t the serum worn off yet?”

“My name is Keith,” Lance says as an answer, then nods to himself. “The truth serum’s run out. It’s just the alcohol now. I did not consent to the alcohol.” He pauses to face the camera. “Did you hear that? I did not consent to the alcohol!”

___

**Veroni-UH-MC** lance…

**Veroni-UH-MC** what are you doing?

___

“Hi,” Keith can be heard saying. The camera pivots around to face him, taking in the full view of him standing awkwardly by the doorframe. “I saw Pidge heading this way and thought that maybe we’re having one of our ‘making fun of Lance’ moments again.”

“We’re on stream right now,” Pidge informs him. “And you know what the title of the stream is?” Keith shakes his head, negative. “Look at this!” Pidge all but yells, leaping forward to shove an orange holographic glow-screen in his face. “Can you even pronounce it?”

“I can try?” Keith shrugs. “I can easily say that the end of it is ‘saga’.”

Pidge pockets her screen, staring at the other teen with an obvious incredulous look on her face. “Don’t,” she deadpans. “Just. No.”

“Introduce yourself,” Lance calls from off-screen. “Introduction! Yay!”

Pidge rolls her eyes, but it is fond. “I’m Pidge, the Green Paladin.”

“And I’m Keith, the- Uh. Lance, which paladin did you say you were?”

“Blue-Red!”

Keith stares off-screen for a while, a very confused look on his face that’s probably directed at Lance, then turns back to the camera. “The Red-Black Paladin,” he declares, face completely serious and betraying absolutely no humour or any other hint that he might be joking.

“Why are you following Lance’s lead on this?” Hunk asks as Pidge and Keith join him and Lance on the couch. “Not that it’s a bad thing, just…”

“Unexpected?” Keith finishes drily. “I just figured he’d be better at all the social stuff than me.”

“He’s still drunk,” Pidge informs him. “Why are you listening to a drunk person?”

“It’s a drunk Lance,” Keith says, very uncomfortably. “Which is still a Lance. I’d take a drunk Lance’s cues on social interactions over my own.”

“Drunk Lance,” Lance giggles. “How about let’s make that… Drunk Everyone?”

“I can hear the capital letters in that,” Hunk informs the camera, then the rest of his team. “I don’t like this.”

“Two truths and a lie,” Lance suggests. “Take a shot if you get the wrong answer. If everyone else picks out your lie right, then you take a shot!”

“Wonderful idea,” Pidge agrees with an easy grin.

“Right, right, let’s say we with go with that,” Hunk nods, then spreads his hands out, palms up. “We have no alcohol.”

“Give me five minutes,” Pidge says, as she stands up and leaves. Two seconds after that, she re-enters. “Hunk, come with me.” Hunk goes with her obligingly, leaving only a semi-drunk Lance and a very sober Keith with the camera.

Keith groans, scuffing his feet on the flooring as he looks at Lance. “Right. Trusting you has caused this.”

Lance blinks at him, then raises a finger. “Boop,” he says, poking Keith’s nose. Adorably, Keith goes cross-eyed trying to look at it. Then, he shakes his head rapidly, and pushes Lance’s finger down.

“No.”

Lance repeats the action. “Boop.”

“Please stop doing that.”

“Boop.”

___

**NaughdiaREdits** lances sister!!!!

**Veroni-UH-MC** si?

**NaughdiaREdits** is he always like this?

**Veroni-UH-MC** debatably

**Veroni-UH-MC** its a fairly normal occurrence

___

“Lance, please,” Keith groans, brushing the other’s hand aside. “What do you want to do while waiting?”

“I’m bored,” Lance informs him, completely missing the point of the question.

“Yes,” Keith agrees. “That’s why Pidge and Hunk are getting… something. What do you think they’re getting?”

“Alcohol!” Lance answers, then leans closer to Keith in what’s clearly an attempt to be a whisper. It is not a whisper. It’s so loud, the camera drone easily picks up his voice. “Don’t tell ‘llura or Coran, but Pidgey’s making alcohol in her lab.”

Keith pulls back, and looks over the Blue-Red Paladin, as if discerning the trustability of his words. He seems to find what he’s looking for. “Wait, seriously?”

Lance nods eagerly. “Mhm,” he agrees, as he presses a finger to Keith’s lips. “Don’t tell anyone I told you.”

“If we’re going to drink the alcohol anyway, it would really matter if you told me,” Keith grumbles, as the door slides open again.

“We bring the offering of alcohol!” Pidge announces, spreading her arms out. Behind her, Hunk carries two bottles in his arms.

“Yay!” Lance cheers, then, none too subtly, nudges Keith and attempts to whisper: “Pretend you’re surprised!”

It’s not a very efficient whisper since Hunk snorts at that, but Keith obliges. “Uhhh. Wow. Where did you get it?”

“I made it,” Pidge announces proudly as she seats herself down again. “How do we start this?”

“I’m starting!” Lance declares. “One, I nearly drowned once, but I convinced myself I could breathe underwater!” He lifts his pinkie cheerfully at that, even as his words cause distress to his teammates, and likely a large proportion of viewers. “Two… Hm.”

___

**NaughdiaREdits** lances sister?

**Veroni-UH-MC** please just call me vero or something thanks

**Veroni-UH-MC** why?

**NaughdiaREdits** is that true? lances first truth that is

**Veroni-UH-MC** if i told you, it’d ruin the whole point of the game

**NaughdiaREdits** i

**NaughdiaREdits** fair enough

**NaughdiaREdits** but also i fear for him

**Veroni-UH-MC** join the club

___

“Mi hermano has this obsession with milk. And drinks it. Three. Times. A. Day.” Lance punctuates each word with a finality, practically screaming frustration. He quickly switches back to his cheerful demeanour. “And! Lastly, uh… my mother was an apprentice to a palm reader when she was younger!” He spreads his arms out, palms up, and tacks on a cheery “Which is the lie?” at the end.

“The first one,” Pidge answers promptly. “It’s the only one you didn’t hesitate on.”

“Your mother wasn’t a palm reader apprentice,” Keith says, but anyone who can reasonably read emotions can probably tell that he has absolutely zero clue.

The both of them stare expectantly at Lance who, in turn, tilts his head to Hunk. “The second one is the lie,” Hunk starts slowly, but slowly gains more enthusiasm as his confidence in his answer grows. “Because it’s not one of your brothers who has an obsession with milk; it’s Rachel!”

Lance applauds, cheering, then points at Pidge and Keith. “Drink,” he tells them, very seriously.

They each take a shot, Keith wincing as the liquid goes down. “It tastes terrible,” he says. “Worse than Lance’s sense of humour.”

“I’m very funny,” Lance protests, but it’s half-hearted, since they all know that Keith is joking.

“My real name isn’t Hunk!” Hunk declares before the conversation can get too derailed. “That’s the first statement. The next one is that I’ve dyed my hair and the last one is that I’ve learnt the first hundred digits of pi before the first twenty elements of the periodic table. Lance, you’re answering last.”

Lance sticks out his tongue childishly, but obliges.

“The last one,” Keith says.

“Your real name is Hunk,” Pidge answers, and Lance nods eagerly, pointing at her.

Pidge pushes the alcohol towards Keith. “Drink,” she tells him.

Keith drinks, wincing. “Right,” he says, turning to Hunk. “Hunk isn’t a nickname?”

“No,” Hunk shakes his head. “It’s a spelling error. My name was supposed to be Hank, but the top part wasn’t connected when my parents wrote it down.”

___

**JamesGriffinDor** thats actually quite an interesting name origin story

___

“Pidge?” Hunk moves on to prompt. Pidge lights up and instantly starts talking.

“I needed four teachers to teach me to solve a three by three- Do you know what a three-by-three is?” Pidge interrupts herself, squinting and tilting her head to the side contemplatively. “It’s a cube. Made out of three cubes on each side. There’re like… twenty-seven smaller cubes making up the cube. You mix it up, and try to solve it by making each side of the big cube the same colour. It’s a puzzle-toy, invented in 1974? I-“

“The Rubik’s Cube?” Hunk asks drily.

“Yes!” Pidge agrees, patting Hunk’s back. “You get me. See?” She turns to Lance and Keith and the camera. “He gets me.”

“The rest of your…” Lance pauses, muttering something inaudible under his breath. “Declaracións? Declarations?”

“Statements,” Hunk corrects.

“Statements,” Lance agrees.

“I taught myself how to solve a megaminx with no outside help or references!” Pidge continues, proudly, then hesitates again. “Do you know what a megaminx is? It’s like a Rubik’s Cube, but each face is a pentagon, and twelve pentagons make up the entire puzzle. Matt likes to call it the hexa-star, which is blatantly inaccurate, you know, because it’s a pentagon, not a hexagon. But the star part is right! Because instead of the edge pieces and centre piece forming a cross, like in the normal cube, they form a star! It’s very cute.”

“And your next one?” Keith prompts, sounding surprisingly sober.

“I learnt how to solve a four-by-four before I learnt how to solve a two-by-two.” She pauses again. “A four-by-four and a two-by-two are pretty much what they sound like, you know? Like a three-by-three, but four cubes on each side and two cubes on each side. The two-by-two is adorable, and most of them are really really tiny.” She pinches her hands together, “The one I have at home is this big! So about two inches on each side.”

“I think it’s the first one,” Lance says promptly, just as Keith says, “I think it’s the last one.” All in all, it turns out sounding more like “I think it’s the fast one.”

“First,” Lance insists.

“Last,” Keith counters. “If I keep guessing the last one, sooner or later, one of them is bound to be correct.”

“No shade, Pidge,” Hunk shrugs. “But I’m going with the second one.”

Pidge giggles, and pushes the bottle towards Keith and Hunk. “I didn’t need four people to teach me to solve a three-by-three; I needed five people to teach me how to solve it!” She announces proudly. Then, more apologetically, “Sorry Keefy.”

___

**I. Leifsdottir.** That’s not something that most people are typically proud about.

**I. Leifsdottir.** But coupled with the fact that she learnt how to solve a megaminx on her own, it’s quite an impressive improvement.

**NaughdiaREdits** INA!

**NaughdiaREdits** HIIIIII

**I. Leifsdottir.** Good evening, Nadia.

___

“Keefy,” Lance echoes, chuckling.

“Well,” Hunk says, patting Lance’s head gently as the latter cuddles up to the former’s side comfortably. “It’s Keefy’s turn to give his two truths and one lie.”

“Oh,” Keith says, and pauses. “I’ve had teachers scared of me, I did gymnastics for a while, and I’ve got several piercings and a tattoo.”

“Last one,” Hunk says promptly and Lance nods.

“If you have piercings and tattoos,” Pidge muses. “Shiro would kill you, Keefy.” She pauses. “Maybe not kill, he’s too nice for that. Anyway, you don’t have them.”

Keith sighs, and drinks.

“What now?” He asks.

“Never have I ever gotten kicked out of school!” Lance announces, then turns to Keith. “Drink.”

“Pass it,” Pidge grins, making grabby hands at the bottle as Keith drinks from it. Keith passes it to her and she drinks from it as well.

___

**RKinkadeVlogging** I would like to raise a point that they haven’t reached legal drinking age yet.

___

Hunk grins down at his orange holoscreen, and types rapidly on it.

___

**VoltronDefenders** *Legal drinking age where you’re from

**VoltronDefenders** We’re definitely of legal drinking age where we are right now! -Hunk

**VoltronDefenders** …Probably? -Hunk

**RKinkadeVlogging** Katie Holt is fifteen years old. Where would the legal drinking age be fifteen or below?

**RKinkadeVlogging** Are you in Germany or something?

**VoltronDefenders** :)

**VoltronDefenders** To prevent ourselves from getting killed by the Garrison, I’m inclined to say: No comment -Hunk

**VoltronDefenders** But also to cause chaos, I’m going to say: We’re definitely not in Germany; kinda wish we were, though -Hunk

___

“Anyway,” Pidge says, after drinking. “Never have I ever tried to asked a girl out, only to trip over my own shoes and land on her in a compromising position and gotten banned from the establishment altogether.” Without waiting for a response, she passes the bottle to Lance, who glares at her and drinks.

“Never have I ever willingly broken school rules,” Hunk cuts in, before it can get too ugly. He puts down his holoscreen and grins as everyone else drinks.

“I’ll never regret sneaking out to town,” Lance declares proudly.

“I won’t regret punching Iverson,” Keith grumbles lowly; enough for the camera next to him to pick it up, but not enough for Lance to hear, that’s for sure.

___

**NaughdiaREdits** THAT WAS TRUE??

**NaughdiaREdits** THE RUMOUR MILL

**NaughdiaREdits** THAT

**NaughdiaREdits** I-

___

“They were hiding stuff,” Pidge tilts her head upwards stubbornly. “I refuse to let them continue to hide stuff. I’m family! I should be able to know the truth about what happened to my family.”

Hunk pats Pidge’s shoulder gently and tilts his head inquiringly towards Keith, who is starting to look a little flushed from the alcohol. “Any Never Have I Evers?”

Keith groans, and lets his head roll against the back of the couch. After a while, he finally decides on one. “Never have I ever understood what an emotion is.”

“What even are emotions?” Pidge asks the air, passing the bottle to Hunk, who takes his second drink of the day.

“Can I eat them?” Keith agrees, as Hunk passes the bottle to Lance to drink.

“Humans…” A voice crackles over what must be the intercoms. “They’ll eat anything.”

“Except cyanide!” Lance tells the ceiling helpfully, head lolling against Hunk’s shoulder. “We don’t eat cyanide… Right, Hunk?” Hunk shakes his head, negative.

“Coran, please,” a voice that some might be familiar as Allura says. “Paladins, the Lions are getting a little… restless.”

“Restless?” Hunk echoes. “Can they get restless?”

“For a lack of better phrasing,” Allura answers. “It seems so.”

The four physically present in the common area exchange sceptical looks.

“And… what do you want us to do about it?” Keith asks the ceiling.

“Well,” Allura tells them, sounding a little more distant from the comms then before. “Black seems the most eager of them all, which is unusual. Keith?”

Everyone looks at Keith, including the camera, who simply tilts his head, before sitting up sharply. “Oh,” he breathes, and vaults over the couch to sprint out the door.

The remaining three exchange looks with one another.

“Anyone knows what that was about?” Hunk asks.

Pidge and Lance shrug, but it is Lance who says, “We should probably help him check it out anyway.” and leaves first, not at all steady on his feet.

Hunk stares after him, and is already on his way out when he gestures to the camera. “Pidge, could you-?”

“Yeah,” Pidge gives a thumbs up, just as he leaves the room. “Anyway,” she turns back to the camera. “Because our lives are absolute chaos, we kinda have to go right now. I’m Pidge, the Green Paladin who has not changed colours, thank the stars, Green is my baby - have I mentioned how much I love her yet? Because Green is awesome. Uh.” She pauses and mutters to herself. “Pidge, Green Paladin, Green is awesome- Right!” She perks up. “And this is the Castle of Lions, and we’ll see you in our next video. Or stream. Bye!”

___

**JamesGriffinDor** that was rushed

**VoltronDefenders** lance is banned from starting videos. -pdge

**VoltronDefenders** pidge is banned frm signing off -lance

**VoltronDefenders** You’re both banned from banning people -Hunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyway, because my brain functions weird like that… what if shiro were here? well, for lance’s 2t1l, he’d respond with something along the lines of: “for the sake of my mental health, i’m going to go with the first option and say you haven’t drowned and convinced yourself you could breathe underwater”. his answer to hunk’s would be “you haven’t dyed your hair; it really doesn’t seem like something you’d do”. for pidge’s, “i trust in your intelligence, so i’ll go with that you didn’t need four teachers to teach you how to solve a 3x3”. for keith’s, he’d answer, both quickly and accurately, with “you have no piercings and no tattoos because i would know”. 
> 
> as for his own… 1. Shiro used to wear yellow coloured glasses. 2. Shiro has dyed his hair turquoise. 3. Shiro paints his nails for Christmas. Keith and Pidge answer with 1. Lance and Hunk answer with 2. The answer is 3. Shiro paints his nails for New Years’, not Christmas. He loves technicalities. 
> 
> yes, at least 90% of these are based off or twisted versions of my own experiences because. the ones i could find online were plain boring.


	4. VoltronDefenders started streaming: "Look Who’s Back With Us???!! (Feat. Takashi Shirogane)"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Rule number five,” Keith drawls, and takes his time to glare at Lance again. “Stay away from the airlocks unless there’s an emergency. Lance’s fault, again,” he announces. “For taking years off my life by nearly dying.”_
> 
> ___
> 
> _**I. Leifsdottir.** Is no one going to explain the airlocks and Lance nearly dying?_
> 
> \- - - - -
> 
> (aka, team v explains some things that they have to abide by while within the place that theyre in. they slowly grow more flippant with their information. shiro makes a reappearance? and is very tired.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally a whole separate story on its own. It was going to be a three parter, with Voltron-specific Castle rules (this one, originally set throughout s1), Voltron-specific Garrison rules (late s7 to pre s8 era) and Garrison-specific Voltron rules (pre s8 to post canon). I lost steam for it, then looked at this one, and went “well I could probably fit that in here”. So thus, this chapter exists. 
> 
> Set in the weird space in-between s3 and s4.

“Hi!” A teen in an army green jacket waves, grinning as the camera faces him. Avid fans of the channel (which has attained surprising popularity despite having only three, now four, live streams to its name) would know him already. Of course, members of the Galaxy Garrison so far have displayed a surprising amount of knowledge on him and the other members of the channel as well. “This is Lance, the Blue Paladin!”

“And I’m Hunk, the Yellow one!” Another teen grins, orange bandana flapping behind him in the (probably) inexistent wind. Hunk waves, and his cheerfulness is infectious, even through a video, computer screen, and who knows how great of a distance away.

The camera pivots as the next person speaks, arms crossed, black fingerless gloves standing out against his bright red jacket and pale skin. “I’m Keith, the Paladin of the B- Uh, the Red Paladin?” He offers a tight smile at the camera, but his eyes are looking anywhere but directly at it.

“I’m Pidge,” the shortest of them all says, pushing up her glasses. “Paladin of Green.” And her outfit certainly represents as much, what with her jumper having green as a dominant non-neutral colour. “Welcome,” she says. “To the Castle of Lions!”

“And today, we have a special, returning guest!” Hunk continues to announce, gesturing for the camera to turn in another direction. “Everyone give it up for Takashi Shirogane!”

The man looks slightly awkward, in a different outfit from the first stream. His hair is also styled slightly different, but that can be attributed to actually not being sleep-deprived this time around, and also his weeks-long disappearance. Newcomers may notice a robotic arm that, under the right light, seems to glow a little purple.

The other four present applaud.

___

**JamesGriffinDor** is this a normal thing?

**NaughdiaREdits** is that arm glowngin????

**JamesGriffinDor** the glowing arm, that is.

**NaughdiaREdits** that is soooc oool

___

“Hello,” he grins, waving slightly with his brows furrowed. “You can just call me Shiro. I’m the Black Paladin. Was the Black Paladin?” At that, he glances, again, awkwardly at Keith, who simply shrugs, as do the rest of the team. “I am the Black Paladin.” He punctuates the final statement with a firm nod.

“We call him Space Dad!” Lance says, but is cut off by a stern glare from pretty much everyone else around him.

“Lance…” Shiro says disapprovingly, sounding very much like a dad.

“Because he’s the one who went to space and back to Earth on multiple occasions,” the teen adds in a rush towards the camera, then flashes a grin towards the rest of the people(glaring at him with deadpan looks) with him on stream. “What? You’re a world-famous space explorer, Shiro!”

___

**NaughdiaREdits** i swear

**NaughdiaREdits** there’s eomthing else in that statement

**JamesGriffinDor** ok but is no one genuinely gonna wonder where these five missing persons are?

**JamesGriffinDor** or where takashi shirogane was?

___

“That’s not the-“ Shiro groans into his metal arm. “Never mind.”

“Moving on!” Hunk cuts in hastily, clearly wanting to diffuse the situation. “We actually had plans for this video!”

Pidge bounces her head as the camera turns back to her, pulling out a bright orange tablet. “We’re taking a couple questions first,” she states, scrolling through her tablet. “Then we’re jumping straight into our plan.” She stretches out lazily on the couch, in the same room that the group always starts their videos in. “So,” she grins smugly. “Ask away.”

___

_[A glance at the chat shows that it is illegible, due to the many people that are rapid-firing all the questions they ever wanted to ask the group.]_

___

“Woah, slow down!” Lance chuckles, swiping through on his screen. “Alright, I think I got a question. It’s from a JamesGriffin-“

“How about no,” Keith cuts in.

“-Dor…?” Lance raises an eyebrow. ‘Why not?”

Keith gives him a look. The look is very hard to interpret, but Lance seems to get it anyway.

“Okay…” he says slowly. “Fine. But they are asking a fairly common question.”

“Can’t we just address common questions?” Keith suggests. “Without saying who it’s from?”

“Keith…” Shiro says slowly.

“Keith has a point!” Pidge raises quickly, before the eldest can say anything else. Hunk offers an apologetic glance at the camera. “What’s the question, Lance?”

“Where are we?”

“…What’s that supposed to mean?” Keith frowns. “We announce it every time we start a video. We’re in the Castle of Lions. We’re always in the Castle of Lions.”

“We’re somewhere in the universe,” Shiro answers, more diplomatically.

“If you want to be specific,” Pidge pipes up. “We’re somewhere around Olkarion right now.”

___

**RKinkadeVlogging** I feel like I have to ask, where is Olkarion?

___

“Somewhere around S54G8-17,” Hunk adds on to Pidge’s point, unknowingly answering one of the viewers’ many questions about Pidge’s answer. Sort of. It’s not really much of an answer, especially without context.

Lance grins at his phone as he answers the question. “Which means that we’re in the middle of free, protected, territory,”

___

**VoltronDefenders** @RKinkadeVlogging :) -lance

**VoltronDefenders** (fyi @RKinkadeVlogging ur name is really familiar -lance)

___

“Anyway,” he says smoothly. “Our next most common question is: Where did Shiro go?”

“Actually,” Hunk muses thoughtfully. “Where _did_ Shiro go? We all made assumptions based on what we knew, but he never actually told us.”

Everyone turns to look at Shiro, who shifts uncomfortably under the gazes. “In the middle of nowhere?” He offers with a meaningful look at his teammates. “I’ll explain more later. Just… not now.”

“Alright,” Lance says easily. “Who are Allura and Coran?”

Keith breathes heavily through his nose as Lance and Hunk glance (none too surreptitiously) towards him. “Don’t look at me,” he snaps, frowning. “Look at Pidge. She’s the one who can explain stuff. Things. Whatever.”

“I’m not the leader,” Pidge answers cheerfully. “Never was, never have been, and definitely am not right now. O’ Fearless leaders, care to take the lead on this one?”

Keith hangs his head and sighs. Shiro pulls a diplomatic grin and answers. “They’re our…” he winces, visibly. “Friends? Acquaintances? Teammates? Allies? Partners?”

“¡Me no explosioné para esto! I did not get blown up for you to just call them allies!” Lance protests. He stomps his right foot angrily. It’s unclear whether it’s playful or not. “Son nuestros amigos! Definitely friends, Shiro.”

___

**Veroni-UH-MC** ¿explosioné? ¿alcohol? ¿qué estás haciendo, lanquito? ¿por qué no sé esto?

___

“Right,” Pidge says, snatching Lance’s orange screen thing. He makes a noise of frustration and anger, and makes an aborted motion to grab his screen back. He must think better of doing that, resorting to glaring at Shiro. “Next question is… what are we doing?” She looks up from the screen, at Lance pouting beside her, Shiro looking awkwardly away from the camera, Hunk fidgeting with something in his hands and Keith just looking between Shiro and Lance like doing that will somehow solve all the mysteries on Earth. She looks back at the camera. “I think you can tell.”

“What was last stream’s interruption for?” Lance calls out, still glaring at Shiro. “Because that was supposed to be the next question.”

Keith steps forwards, and raises one of his arms, gesturing to Shiro as a whole, his face in a deadpan. “We found this guy. Or. Well.” He hesitates for a second. “The Lions did.”

“He does have a terrible habit of disappearing,” Hunk agrees.

“If we’re all legally drinking alcohol, what laws are there where we are?” Pidge reads, then grins up at the camera. “Well, there are no laws in free territory. Not really? Seeing that we’re actually in free territory, not sectioned territory within free territory…”

“We’re definitely breaking many Empire laws though,” Lance mentions, finally no longer glaring at Shiro. “And coincidentally, this question ties in nicely with what we had planned for today! House rules!”

“While there are no laws,” Hunk continues as Lance cheers in the background. “The Castle of Lions definitely has its own set of rules, each set by someone living here. We actually wanted to share them. For… fun? I guess.”

Pidge hums along cheerfully to that. “Here!”

She shoves the orange screen into the camera. The words are illegible due to the glow, simply looking like glaringly white blurs on a glaringly orange background.

“How about we just read them out loud?” Shiro suggests.

Pidge pulls the screen back, looks at it, then looks back up, shrugging. “Sure.” She passes Lance his device back and grabs her own. One may wonder why she didn’t do that from the very start. No one would be able to guess the answer. Pidge is an entity unexplained.

“Our first rule is… by Allura. Mealtimes must be attended by every crew member,” Keith squints at his screen, reading off of it. “Does… anyone know why this rule exists?”

“Our first quintent here,” Lance answers immediately. “Or, well, second? Because the first was for settling in. None of these people showed up for breakfast or lunch. Except for yours truly, of course.” He pauses here to tilt his head out proudly, one hand dramatically pressed against his puffed-out chest. “Anyway, turns out Allura had been seated by the dining table, waiting for everyone, since breakfast.”

“Oh,” Hunk says, near-silently. “Oops?”

“So, she asked me if I’d seen any of you, and I said no! Because every single one of you has terrible self-care,” Lance continues cheerily, clapping his hands together, even as his teammates protest. “And then she asked me what we could do, and I said, compulsory team meals! So now, we have compulsory team meals!”

“How’d you know we’d listen to that?” Pidge asks. The curiosity is written all over her face.

“Well you respect Allura, Hunk low-key feared her at that point, and Keith and Shiro saw her as an authority figure, so that’s more than enough,” Lance counts on his left fingers, pulling them down one by one with his right hand, leaving only his pinkie in the air. He pulls that one down as he continues. “And I’d just seek out the company anyway, because meals are terrible if you’re having them on their own.”

___

**JamesGriffinDor** so…

**JamesGriffinDor** does it work?

**VoltronDefenders** surprisingly, yes. -Pidge

**VoltronDefenders** oh wait, do we know you? -Pidge

**VoltronDefenders** aren’t you that guy that keith reacted weirdly to? -Pidge

**JamesGriffinDor** no

**NaughdiaREdits** absolutely, yes

**JamesGriffinDor** no

**NaughdiaREdits** james griffin

**NaughdiaREdits** do not

**NaughdiaREdits**.

**NaughdiaREdits** he left anyways didnt he

___

“What’s the next rule?” Lance finishes, putting both his hands down with a frankly unnecessary flourish.

“Oh, it’s-“ Shiro starts to read, eyes darting across the tablet to read it in advance, then promptly cuts himself off. A horrified look falls over his face as he must remember the causes of the rule. Some viewers may no longer want to know the rule or its origins. Of course, his facial expression/reaction may other viewers to be even more intrigued by the situation.

Lance groans, as he reads his own copy of it. So does Keith.

Hunk looks over the rule as well, then straight-up laughs. “I-“ He dissolves into more laughter, barely catching his breath as he struggles to finish his sentence. “I think Shiro should explain this one.” His laughter would mostly alleviate the fears and worries of the viewers. Mostly. At this point, almost no one can tell whether any of them are of a sane state of mind, especially with the exceedingly strange comments.

(Case study: “Is that drone going to blow up and try to kill us again? Like fake-Rover?” “Only if the Galra hack it.” - Keith and Pidge, WE LIVE (And Also Some Other, Sadder, News)

Another case study: “We’re kinda waiting to see if there are any side effects. Allura and Coran keep waiting for him to drop dead. Of course, the rest of us know better.” - Hunk, dasljfjlkasjdfklhsaga.

Alternative, more recent, case study, because three times is the charm: “I did not get blown up for you to just call them allies!” - Lance, this very video.)

“Rule number two,” Shiro recites long-sufferingly, with the aura of a man who has seen hell and all that it has to offer, stared it in the face, and decided living is far better punishment than anything hell can come up with. “All and any physical fights are to be taken to the training room or outside of the Castle. For the Lions, this applies to you too. Please leave the Castle.” He lowers the tablet, and stares straight into the camera. “As written by… Allura.” He says the mysterious other’s name with a note of resignment.

“What’s the cause of the rule?” Pidge asks, almost gleefully.

“We can skip that!” Lance declares.

“Yes, Lance is right!” Keith announces. “We can absolutely skip this.”

“No,” Hunk disagrees. “He should tell the story.”

“In as much detail as possible!” Pidge adds, definitely gleefully.

“It was a fine day,” Shiro obliges, resigned to his fate. “Or night, we wouldn’t know. Keith and Lance picked a fight. A physical fight. In the middle of the dining area. It became a mess. The rest of us, because we’re not deaf, heard a bunch of banging and crashing in the communal hangar. We went down. The hangar was thrashed. The Red and Blue Lions fought because Keith and Lance fought. Much destruction was wrought that day. Henceforth, all physical fights need to be in places where destruction doesn’t matter to the structural integrity of the Castle.”

___

**I. Leifsdottir.** Why does Keith and Lance fighting result in coloured lions fighting?

___

Hunk and Pidge applaud the lacklustre retelling, making it almost seem as if it was an entire skit performed by Shiro, worthy of a standing ovation. Lance groans loudly. Keith makes to leave the room, only for the other to grab him by the jacket.

“If I have to suffer through this,” Lance informs the Red Paladin. “So do you.” His words are barely heard over the applause. Keith’s grumbled response definitely isn’t heard.

“Next rule,” Shiro yells, and Hunk and Pidge oblige, bring an end to their applause. “It is Coran’s only rule, and it says… Please respect the Castle. The Castle has feelings too.”

There’s a moment of silence.

“Does… anyone know why this rule exists?”

Lance raises his hand immediately and, the moment everyone’s eyes are on him, point at Pidge. “She was freaking possessed!” He sounds both eager and freaked out. The cause of the emotions are… deducible. Likely, the eagerness is from the embarrassment being redirected from him, and the freaked-out-ness is from Pidge’s apparent possession.

“I wasn’t,” Pidge protests, crossing her arms defensively in a very Keith-like move. “The Castle just wants respect.”

“…What?” Keith asks.

“Don’t question the Castle,” Pidge responds in the same eery monotone that her last statement was in.

There’s a moment of uncertain silence.

“…Moving on!” Hunk cuts in, false cheer in his voice, glancing hesitantly at the Green Paladin, clearly concerned. “The fourth rule was put in place by Shiro so… care to do the honours?”

“Do not, I repeat, do not bring random aliens into the Castle or the Lions if there is no emergency or valid reason,” Shiro reads off the tablet, and offers Lance a reprimanding glance. “Yes, Lance, this was specifically put into place following the Nyma Incident. No, I’m not repealing the rule.”

Lance’s shoulders droop. “Was worth a shot,” he announces.

___

**Veroni-UH-MC** i didn’t hear of a Nyma Incident

**Veroni-UH-MC** have you been leaving things out in your reports, lanquito?

**Veroni-UH-MC** i’m sure la familia would love to know about this Nyma Incident!

**NaughdiaREdits** oh **** ms veronica is scary

**NaughdiaREdits** but yes!!!! spilll the teaa!!!!!!

___

“I think people want to know about the Nyma Incident,” Pidge announces, smirking. “Especially… a certain older McClain sister.”

Everyone looks expectantly at Lance, who blinks almost owlishly. Then, he screeches. Headphone users beware, eardrums may be injured in this process. “Don’t tell her!”

Pidge’s smirk grows wider. Shiro sighs, again. It’s something he’s been doing very often. Definitely for good reason, because it sure seems like the bunch with him are pretty hard to manage. (Plus, anyone who has checked the internet would know that he’s the oldest, so he’s probably taking responsibility for all of them.)

“Nyma’s and Rolo’s transportation broke down. Supposedly. Hunk helped fix it, Lance took Nyma on a ride in his own vehicle, entering via the Castle. She stole the vehicle and handcuffed him to a tree, because our vehicles have bounties on them. We had to fight them to get Lance’s back.”

“It wasn’t that bad!” Lance protests.

“Oh, no,” Shiro agrees drily. “It was much worse.”

___

**NaughdiaREdits** ooooo

**NaughdiaREdits** savage

**VoltronDefenders** its the truth. -Pidge

**NaughdiaREdits** ooooooooooooo

___

“Keith, do your rule,” Lance hisses none too subtly, nudging the other with a sharp jab from his elbow to the other’s stomach.

Keith rubs his side and glares at Lance, but lifts his device up to reading level anyway. “Rule number five,” Keith drawls, and takes his time to glare at Lance again. “Stay away from the airlocks unless there’s an emergency. Lance’s fault, again,” he announces. “For taking years off my life by nearly dying.”

“Never mind,” Lance interrupts. “My rule, my turn, rule six, go to bed by… equivalent of 10 pm. If you’re not in bed, I will personally drag you there, no arguments. Every single one of you has terrible sleeping habits, other than me and Hunk-”

“Hunk and I,” Hunk corrects helpfully.

“-thank you Hunk, and our first live stream is literally dedicated to that rule and I think that’s literally all I need to say on that topic.” Lance stops, and thinks for a bit. “Unless you want me to tell you the story of how Keith nearly got himself stabbed by tripping over his own sword-“

“Well, unless you want me to tell you the story of how Lance nearly got us all executed because of his flirting with the wrong person-“

“Unless _you_ want me to tell everyone the story of how Keith tried to kill Olkarion’s king-“

“Unless you want me to tell everyone the story of how Lance got Shiro shot-“

“Obtienes tu datos exacto, that wasn’t Shiro-“

___

**I. Leifsdottir.** Is no one going to explain the airlocks and Lance nearly dying?

**NaughdiaREdits** or keit getting stabbed???

**NaughdiaREdits** or basicasllsy any of the stiuatoins

**NaughdiaREdits** that were just mentioned??????

**NaughdiaREdits** why??????

**NaughdiaREdits** oh heya ina

___

“Keith, Lance,” Shiro says, voice brimming with disappointment. “Please, stop fighting.”

“Girls, girls,” Pidge adds gleefully. “You’re both pretty.”

“Can we… move on?” Hunk offers hesitantly. “I’ve got the next rule.”

“Please,” Shiro says, with emotion.

“Shiro and Allura, please never touch the kitchen equipment again,” Hunk reads and pauses for a while, clearly collecting his thoughts on the situation. He gasps a little. “Oh yeah! Wasn’t this put in after the incident where they tried to make a cake? Or was it Allura’s equivalent of one? And the cake became frozen. Frozen!” He throws his hands into the air. Well, not quite. More like a mini-shrug but without the shoulder movement. “I still don’t understand how you froze the cake when you were trying to bake it.”

“Didn’t it explode afterwards?” Pidge adds. It’s phrased like a question, but it clearly isn’t one.

“Yes!” Hunk agrees. “How do you freeze and blow something up in the same action? The kitchen was a mess!”

Shiro shrugs meekly. “Bad luck?”

“Bad luck,” Hunk echoes, clearly infuriated. “Bad luck is Keith tripping over his own sword and nearly getting himself stabbed by it.“

“Hey!” Keith protests, crossing his arms defensively.

“Bad luck,” Hunk continues. “Is Lance accidentally flirting with the heiress of the land without knowing proper protocols and nearly getting us all executed.”

“Hey!” Lance protests too, much more aggressively.

“Bad luck,” Hunk emphasises. “Is _not_ freezing and exploding a cake at essentially the same time.”

“Technology is weird,” Shiro amends, defensively.

“Technology is just fine,” Pidge insists, pushing up her glasses defensively. “Thank you very much. My rules next, my turn. Allura, Shiro and Keith, for the safety and sanity for the rest of us, reset the training room when you’re done. Self-explanatory. Before this rule was implemented, the number of times I’ve gotten attacked by a Gladiator at unholy times in the morning is uncountable.”

Hunk and Lance nod. “Absolutely,” Hunk agrees. “It’s a hazard to everyone’s health. Who has the next rule?”

“It’s a Keith rule,” Pidge announces. “It’s very sweet. Don’t disturb Shiro when he’s resting unless there’s a life-threatening emergency.”

___

**NaughdiaREdits** “unlelss theres a life threatenign emergency”

___

“Aww,” Lance coos. “Does Keith-y has a soft spot for Shiro?”

Keith glares at the other. “Shiro deserves his rest,” he defends, defensively, hunching further over his already crossed arms. “I will personally gut anyone who disrupts his rest in any unnecessary way.”

“Oooh,” the Blue Paladin taunts. “Kitten’s got teeth.”

Keith all but snarls and takes a step towards Lance, only to be held back by Shiro. “Lance… Keith…”

___

**RKinkadeVlogging** Is he… purple?

**NaughdiaREdits** omgg ur right he is!!!!

**NaughdiaREdits** wow thats adoraarble

**RKinkadeVlogging** Do you really not find that concerning, Nadia?

**NaughdiaREdits** ,,,,

**NaughdiaREdits** ,,,not really???

**NaughdiaREdits** should i be/???

**RKinkadeVlogging** I'm not even going to deign that with a response.

**NaughdiaREdits** jokes on you

**NaughdiaREdits** you alr responded lmao

___

“Shiro does deserve the rest,” Lance concedes. “But no one who lives here is dumb enough to disturb Shiro unnecessarily - it’s the Marmorites.”

“And now the Blades know,” Keith says. There’s a hint of pride in there somewhere. “So they won’t, not anymore.”

___

**NaughdiaREdits** marmorites

**NaughdiaREdits** blades

**NaughdiaREdits** what even is the name?

**VoltronDefenders** the blades of marmora. -Pidge

**NaughdiaREdits** pffft sounds like some edgy rock band or smth

**VoltronDefenders** iconic. -Pidge

**VoltronDefenders** imma tell keith. -Pidge

___

“Our viewers think that the Blades’ name sounds like some edgy rock band,” Pidge informs them - Keith, most specifically, likely following up on what she told the viewer. “What do you think, Keith?”

“Don’t let them hear you say that,” he tells the camera. “I doubt they’ll understand what it means, but any one of them can probably deduce an insult out of it or something. Pride, you see,” he shrugs.

“He’s a member of the Blades,” Pidge says, turning to the camera in explanation. There’s a wide smile on her face, though smirk may be a more accurate word to use to describe it. Either way, it’s definitely teasing/mocking the other boy in some way.

“I will end you,” Keith tells her.

“Are those all the rules?” Shiro asks the Blue and Yellow Paladins. It’s much softer, and more in the background as the Red and Green Paladins start play-wrestling in front of the camera. “Because I think we can end it here.”

“Hunk’s last rule is for people to stop sacrificing themselves,” Lance informs him. “Do you want to explain that to any viewers? ‘Cause honestly I wouldn’t mind, but it’s… Well.”

The three of them exchange looks with each other.

“Ending the video it is then,” Hunk says, and makes for the camera, grabbing it and dragging it a further distance away from Keith and Pidge. “We apologise on behalf of Pidge and Keith,” he tells the camera. “This is their way of expressing affection to each other. Regardless, this has been Team Voltron, and if you don’t know our colours and names by now, shame on you, we’re going to settle Red and Green now, bye!”

___

**Veroni-UH-MC** have fun wrangling the children, Officer Shirogane

**VoltronDefenders** Oh. Yes. Fun. -Shiro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> … This took a while. 
> 
> Well, major exams are on the 3rd, and I’m doing NaNo for the rest of November so expect a period of disappearance for now!
> 
> (And also if anyone has any _suggestions_ on how to continue, please do. I’m not entirely sure where this is going. Uh, no guarantees if I’ll use the idea, but I may take inspiration from it?)


End file.
